Why I Will No Longer Attend The Homecoming of My Alma Mater

Steven Sy
4 min readNov 26, 2018

As an alumnus of Xavier School, I was disappointed with the way the Xavier School Grand Alumni Homecoming event held last November 25, 2018 explicitly demeaned and objectified women. I truly do believe that the Grand Alumni Homecoming has an important role to play in bringing us Xavier alumni together, and I have great respect for the Alumni Association of Xavier School (AAXS). However, it is because of this respect that I can no longer sit idly by while such appalling misogyny is allowed to persist in the school I still call home.

The event included numerous performances from “sexy” celebrities like Ms. Roxanne Barcelo, Petra Mahalimuyak, and the MMJK Sweeties. Additionally, pictures came out afterwards on no less than the official AAXS Facebook page, involving large groups of men taking photos and playing beer pong with “sexy” usherettes.

I do not believe that there is anything wrong with women expressing their sexuality. Both the host and the performers are competent in what they do, and I respect their career choices completely. My issue is with three things: first, the degrading descriptions of these women, second, the presentation of ‘sexiness’ for only the male gaze, and third, the use of these women as ‘trophies’ or status symbols to be flaunted around.

First, the way women were described feeds into a deeply misogynistic culture of valuing women only as sexual objects. The women were repeatedly described as “sexy”, their performances as “gamely” and “sultry”, being judged entirely on their ability to “excite” the crowd. The use of such language plays into the misogynistic culture that encourages men to see these women as no more than objects of their sexual gratification.

Second, while there is nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality, the problem arises when this sexual appeal is not voluntary, but only utilized to cater to the male gaze. That is not empowerment; that is objectification. Consider that such a performance would never have happened in an all-girls’ or co-ed school. The problem is not that they are sexy dancers, but that an all-boys’ school with an all-male alumni association has deemed young women and their bodies appropriate entertainment for a crowd of much older adult men. Sexual empowerment can only exist on a woman’s own terms, not on the terms of men.

Third, the photos of large groups of men posing around a few scantily-clad women portray these women as prizes to be shown off as status symbols. These men were described as being “lucky” to have those photos, implying that women should be valued only as trophies to make the men in those photos look powerful.

I want to note here that the Grand Alumni Homecoming is not an event just for Xavier School alumni. It is well-attended by teachers, staff, and most importantly, the families of alumni, including their sisters, mothers, grandmothers, daughters, and wives.

Moreover, this event was primarily organized by older Xavier School alumni, and while I am not discounting the role my own batch played, it is disappointing that this is the example the older generation wishes to set for us. It is also disconcerting that the school administration, while they played no active role in the organization of this event, allowed it to happen on school grounds.

Notably, this is not the first time that an incident like this has occurred. Many of the previous homecoming events have featured this misogynistic theme in some manner. Furthermore, numerous other XS events such as golf tournaments or car shows always seem to feature and stress the presence of sexualized female usherettes and performances.

We should know better; we do know better. It’s disturbing to see that many of the values that we were taught in school are blatantly ignored in the homecoming, which ought to be a celebration of what it means to be a Xaverian. As academic spaces, schools should help us challenge and unlearn these internalized prejudices that have real and detrimental consequences for women around the world. But what I see instead is the promotion of these attitudes that feed into a larger endemic of sexism in our country.

The reason why I’m so disturbed by this happenstance is that I truly do believe in the value of homecoming. I would not be the person I am today if it were not for Xavier School, and I’m sure that many of my fellow alumni feel the same. But I don’t believe that the homecoming, as it is today, is worth coming home to. What I wish could be showcased at the homecoming is a celebration of what it means to be a Xavier graduate: a person that is ignited with a passion for goodwill, a person that is committed to making the world a better place, a person for and with others.

It is for this reason that I will no longer attend any further homecomings or events organized by the AAXS. If I were to attend these events, I would be complicit in legitimizing this misogyny. I can no longer do so with a clear conscience, and I urge my fellow alumni to do the same until this sexist practice is wiped completely from our good institution.

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